Stop Breathe Reflect Choose

September 6, 2011

The first step to change is awareness so learning to identify the types of thoughts you are having is an important step in managing your stress.

One of the suggestions I have is to write down your thoughts. Sometimes our thoughts spiral out of control because we are not really examining them, but moreso reacting to them. Write down each of the fears you have, and then ask yourself, what is the real possibility of something like that happening? See if there are other issues going on within you that are causing you to worry so much. This could be a real opportunity for you to examine your thoughts and understand them. The simple act of writing about them can help abate some of the emotions.

You may notice that certain image keeps popping into your mind. Think about the image and write about it, write about the emotions that come up for you around the image. See if those emotions are familiar to you. Ask yourself if the emotions you are feeling are similar to other emotions you’ve had. Is this part of a larger pattern? In some cases, speaking to a trained professional or clinical hypnotherapist can be helpful.

A behavioral approach that may be helpful to you is called “stop, breathe, reflect, choose.” In this case, the moment you find yourself getting very upset thinking about your son, tell yourself “Stop”, then take a deep breath in. The deep breath in triggers the body’s relaxation response. Then Reflect, bring in your mind, and ask yourself what is the positive thought you can have out of all the possibilities, and finally Choose the thought that creates the least amount of stress.

Remember, you are creating your own stress through the thoughts and imagery you are projecting. The latest brain research shows that the same brain centers light up whether you are imagining something or if it is really happening. When you visualize your son in a negative situation, it is as if it is really happening and your body will get stressed in that moment, thinking it is happening right now.

With that in mind, it is important to train your mind to focus on positive images so that you can help your body stay calm, centered and relaxed.

Brother, Can You Spare 30 Seconds?

August 23, 2009

There are 86,400 seconds in a day. How many of those seconds are spent on yourself?

If I told you that even spending 30 seconds of those 86,400 seconds on your needs, could mean a huge difference in your day, would you consider taking that time for yourself?

Most people spend most of their day focused on the needs of others, the needs of their job, their spouse, their children, their friends, their co-workers.

It’s amazing to me how often I hear people tell me that they can’t even find 30 seconds during their day to devote to their relaxation! 30 seconds!?

I know what it is like to not have time. I’ve experienced the feeling and it is a horrible one. When I’ve asked a few people about how often they use Relaxation On-Demand, I sometimes get the response, “I can’t spare 30 seconds for myself.”

I want you to think about what your time is worth, what your life is worth. Here’s what we know. People that practice stress management techniques develop a resistance to stress. So even taking 30 seconds out of your day to focus on your needs, can make a huge difference.

Think about how much of your life is on automatic, and in that automatic life, in the habits you have, how many of them are habits to nurture you? Where are you in the equation?

Knowing what we know about stress, the physical and psychological implications, the ailments associated with stress — is your health worth taking 30 seconds out of your day, for you?

De-Stressing My Work and Home

July 17, 2009

Dear Robert:

I believe that the environment that I live and work in creates stress for me. Can you tell me ways that I de-stress these environments?

Living in Stress

Dear Living in Stress,

The environment that we live and work in can either create stress or relaxation. It depends on what we do with those environments. In fact, our environment is one of three primary stress categories. The other two are social and physiological stressors. I would be happy to give you some tips on how to de-stress your work and home environment:
De-clutter – The more clutter that exists in your home, the more stressful it can be. I recommend the six month rule. If you haven’t used something in the last six months, Ebay it, give it to the Salvation Army, a friend or family member. I believe in Feng Shui, and have used it effectively in my own home. Feng Shui opens up the energy in a home. I found that it created spaciousness and increased energy in my home.

Comfortable Furniture – I would recommend finding furniture that is ergonomically correct. If you sit in a chair and find that it puts a strain on your back, or your neck, get rid of it or give it away. Replace it with furniture that works for your entire body.

Lighting – Bad lighting can cause eye strain. It is important to create the best possible lighting in your home and office. Even fluorescent lights can create a subtle yet stressful effect on the eyes. Halogen light and full spectrum light are the more relaxing forms of lighting.

Colors – Sometimes colors can be subtle, yet stress-inducing. Earth tones, greens and blues are the most soothing colors.

Scents – At home, you may want to consider incense, or aromatherapy such as green apple and lavender which are the most soothing. At work, scents, such as heavy perfumes, can sometimes be distracting and stress-inducing. You may want to consider recommending an aroma-free working environment. Some interesting information about scents: If you were born between 1900-1930- natural smells such as trees, hay, horse, and pine will relax you. If you were born between 1930-present-the smell of Playdough, Pez, and Sweet Tarts will relax you. If you were born in the Eastern United States, the smell of flowers will relax you. If you were born in the Midwest, you will find the smell of farm animals soothing. If you were born in the West, you will find the smell of meat barbecuing soothing and if you were born in the South, you will find the smell of fresh air soothing.

Poor ventilation – Poor ventilation, though subtle, can be stress-inducing. Poor ventilation can also cause headaches. You may want to try to bring as much natural air into an office or home.
Too much noise – Various types of noise can be very stressful. Constant ringing phones, sounds of traffic. Are there ways to reduce the levels of noise in your home or working environment? White noise can be a way to mask unpleasant noises and actually induce relaxation.

Too Cold or Too Hot – Extremes in temperature can be stress inducing. If someone in your home or office likes the environment either too hot or too cold, it may be important to find a happy medium – a temperature that is more in the midrange.

Decorate your home or office with uplifting, empowering and positive objects. What gives you positive feelings when you look at them? I personally love stained glass and find that by adding these objects in my environment it uplifts the area for me. What uplifts you?

Music – At home, choose music without lyrics and no emotional baggage.
Take breaks during your day. Dr. Stephen Rechstaffen, who wrote “Time Shifting” talks about creating personal pause buttons. Instead of answering your phone on the first ring, he suggests answering it on the second ring. Use the first ring to take a deep breath in. At lunch time, take a walk in nature and don’t. If you take a walk with a workmate, don’t talk business. It keeps you in stress mode. When you get home, shift yourself out of work mode, take a bath, or do something nurturing for yourself.

Add family pictures or pets in your office to help create a more relaxed and pleasant feeling.

Try to reduce your stressors one at a time. Don’t do it all at once.

I hope these suggestions were helpful!

Best of luck to you,

Robert L. Friedman

Cholesterol and Stress

July 16, 2009

Dear Robert:

I have a cholesterol problem and I read somewhere that stress can increase cholesterol and that by practicing stress management, my cholesterol can actually be lowered. Is that correct? If so, can you recommend any stress management methods?

Heart Wary

Dear Heart Wary,

There are some things we know and some that we do not. For instance, we know that the increase in adrenaline created by intense emotional stress causes blood to clot more readily, which will increase the risk of heart attacks. There was a study completed at Duke University which showed that the stress of doing complex number exercises can constrict the coronary arteries so that blood flow to the heart is reduced.

A study done in 2002 showed that mental stress triggers a lack of blood flow to the heart and can therefore increase the risk of death in people with coronary heart disease. That report came out of the Journal of the American Heart Association. Specifically patients who had coronary heart disease had a three times increase in the risk of death compared to those without mental stress. Other studies showed that during mental stress tests patients had less blood flow to their heart and higher rates of cardiac events.

We know that mental stress does increase oxygen demand due to the elevation of both blood pressure and heart rate. Other factors which decrease the blood supply to the heart include coronary artery constriction, which occurs during mental stress.

Also, not all emotional stress is bad. Particularly in relationship to occupational stress, the type of emotional stress often determines if there is a negative effect on the heart. It is typically those individuals that have little to no control at their job who had the most debilitating forms of emotional and mental stress. The more control a person has at their job, the more positive their experience and the less stress.

There were additional studies done on Type A personalities. Type A personalities are those individuals who were impatient, had a harrying sense of time urgency, were competitive and had free-floating hostility. These type of individuals had a higher risk for coronary heart disease than a Type B personality. A Type B personality that is someone who is patient and non-competitive. We found that emotional isolation also had a very negative effect on one’s health and individuals in a field of science known as psychoneuroimmunology (the science of the study of the mind’s effect on the body) found that it is very important to find social support for your emotional problems, and ways to talk about your emotional problems to others.

Certainly more research is needed to determine specifically the connection between heart disease and stress. Nevertheless, I have some recommendations for you.

I would certainly recommend practicing stress management techniques in reducing the risk of coronary events, perhaps meditation and/or biofeedback. There is no downside to these methods. Exercise is also a wonderful way of reducing stress. In addition, there is an organization called HeartMath (www.heartmath.com) which uses heart rate variability to reduce stress, that is the effect of the breath on heart rate to reduce stress. They have a sophisticated computer software program that helps individuals to move their heart rate and breath into a slower rhythm to reduce stress levels. Their program, which I tried, and found very effective, uses biofeedback and a computer screen to help a person relax. This particular system provided a black and white screen of a nature scene. As I relaxed, more and more colors would appear indicating I was relaxing. The colorization created a positive feedback device to deepen the breath, slow down the heart, and create very profound states of relaxation.

Good luck in your journey and Happy New Year!

Robert